How To Survive Christmas Break

Follow these tips to make sure Christmas is actually the most wonderful time of the year.

1. How to: Last Minute Gift Shop

Unless you have no life, you probably procrastinate Christmas shopping like the rest of the world then complain about how crowded the stores are the week before Christmas. My advice to you is to actually buy a present and not just hand someone a wad of cash in the form of a gift card. Nothing says, “You’re really special to me and I spent a ton of time picking this gift out for you” quite like gifting someone a piece of plastic so they can pick themselves out a present. The gift tag might as well say To: Jeff,  From: Jeff,  With: My Money  

      2.  How to: Handle Relationship Questions from Relatives

Being single during the holidays is already brutal enough, and the last thing you need is your extended family reminding you every ten minutes of your loneliness by asking if you have a sweetheart yet. The best way to react to these interrogating questions is by deflecting the questions back to the questioner and shutting the conversation down.

Aunt: “Do you have a boyfriend???”

You: “Aunt Sally do YOU have a boyfriend???”

*watch the dinner table get really awkward and silent as Aunt Sally shifts in her seat as Uncle John gives her a suspicious look. You’re off the hook.*

     3.    How to: Not be THAT Guy at the Gym

It doesn’t take a psychic to know that your New Year’s Resolution is to start eating healthier and working out more in 2015. Everyone on planet Earth diets and ellipticals like they are training for the next Olympics between January 2^nd and February 13^th. On January 2^nd, lines for treadmills look like lines for Hannah Montana tickets. People fight over yoga mats like they’re the new Air Jordan’s. Bottom line, gyms are packed and NO ONE wants to be that guy looking like he’s suffering from cardiac arrest on the treadmill. It’s supposed to be exercise, not the exorcism. Take my advice and do a couple sit-ups or laps around the block before the new year to avoid everyone at the gym looking at you have Ebola.

     4.   How to: Handle All of Your Free Time

Finals week: Wow I have so much to do, I can’t wait to just go home and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!

Week after you go home: I’m so bored. Is there anything fun to do around here????

When you don’t have school and your demanding ***social life*** to fill your time, you forget what it’s like to be a normal human being. Read a book ~for fun~. Complete a marathon --on Netflix--. Go ice skating (or rather, attempt to skate without tearing an ACL). Bake cookies, because we all know eating is the best remedy for boredom. Visit old friends from high school and PaRtYyY like its 2012 again. Repeat until you’re begging for classes to start back up (just maybe not the homework.)

     5.   How to: Regress to your Childhood Ways

The best part about Christmas Break is acting like you’re 12 all over again. So what if you just finished up Calculus class or submitted a fifteen page research paper? Home is where you go to sleep in a room full of NSYNC posters and cuddle with your colony of beanie babies and stuffed animals. Home is where you can ask your mom to get you seconds or drink refills if you ask in your sweetest voice. Home is where you can play N64 all day long until your thumbs go numb, because your parents are just happy to have you home for the holidays. So go ahead, act like a child. Just don’t throw a temper tantrum. That’s not cool when you’re 21. That’s just weird.